Old Actuaries Never Die ….

The AR of August 1991 reported results for a silly but fun competition.

AR Competition No. 1 Results

Judging from the number of responses, AR readers had a lot of fun with AR Competition No. 1. The contest, which was to complete the sentence, “Old actuaries never die, they just . . . ,” drew 100 entries. AR editors had a difficult time in choosing a winner, but in the end selected,

“Old actuaries never die, they just develop to ultimate.”

David Koegel and Sharon Markowski each submitted entries with the winning ending. Since both entries were received by AR on the same day, the contest was declared a tie. For winning, David and Sharon each will receive an official AR T-shirt lettered with the winning saying.

Receiving honorable mention are the following entries:

“Old actuaries never die, they are just broken down by sex and age.” (From Geraldine Kaye, who said that Fiasco, a U.K. actuarial magazine, ran a similar competition several years ago, and that this is one of her favorites from that contest.)

“Old actuaries never die, they just no longer count.” (Everett Truttman)

“Old actuaries never die, they just lost statistical significance.” (Walt Wright)

“Old actuaries never die, they just average out.” (Rich Ernst)

“Old actuaries never die, they just run off.” (Steven Goldberg)

Special recognition also goes to Daniel Kligman, who submitted 13 entries including,

“Old actuaries never die, their Bayes just get numbered.”

AR thanks everyone who entered the contest. A complete list of entries, with attributions, can be obtained by writing to the AR.

Look for AR Competition No. 2 in the November issue.


Walter Wright served as AR editor in chief from 1998 to 2002 and as AR managing editor from 1993-1998. He retired from Oliver Wyman in 2008.